Sweaty Ball Hands

Right! Hello again! Hello indeed, and my golly am I excited to be writing!

Honestly, it’s weird! I get a tingling sensation in me just eager to write all my thoughts but like all minds.. thoughts wander into other thoughts and onto mind paths you didn’t even realise existed! So here I am.. trying to keep on one track.. Maybe?

So.. why am I so motivated? Why not?!

I’ve had one heck of a lot on my plate lately; juggling essays,  assignments, volunteering, performing, socialising, organising life stuff and just generally trying to enjoy life!.. Now to some of you crazy cats, that probably sounds like a breeze! But for me, I really love to take time to read, go out walking, learn something new and especially write to gather my thoughts…

And lately, those thoughts have been generally all positive. This isn’t me bragging at all, it’s me acknowledging that and appreciating that. My god, it’s so hard not to sound pretentious on a blog!

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller

Why thank you for summing that up Helen. But you’ve just given us some pretty words.. Hmm I love inspirational words (as you can probably tell from this blog) but I’m quite sceptical about them too.

For example, saying nothing can be done without confidence is going to knock those out of the picture without any confidence! But those words are great if you do have confidence…

Ahhhhh but I’m not saying you can never have confidence, I’m just saying, it’s not as easy as words on a screen or piece of paper or on a billboard facing directly at your office window for that matter either.

Oh geeze. I’m going off track again.

Okay, take a ball for example. In P.E, throw and catch used to scare the hell out of me. It wasn’t the idea of the ball knocking me unconscious (in fact sometimes I wish it did), it was dropping it in front of the cool kids or in front of my fleeting crush at that moment in time which petrified me. Then.. after leaving school I thought ball games would never come into my life again until… Drama School. Yes, you read that correctly. Drama School.

I go to Drama School.. I study Applied Theatre so I’m not quite up there with the actor actors.. but I’m still at Drama School okay, that’s a big deal!

Second session in, and we have to pass a ball around and with it, say our name. SIMPLE. And yet, my hands all moist and sweaty, I would dread my turn. But my director told us to breath, relax and take our time – the worst that could happen is we drop the ball and we pick it up again.

We drop the ball, pick it up again, try again and later, our hands become less sweaty.. And honestly, balls are nowhere near as scary anymore (enjoy that thought). Because in truth, failure is scary and we get sweaty palms thinking about it. Confidence isn’t just a word, it’s a skill and we will all have sweaty hands thinking about failure.

To try something, is to risk and to me, that’s an achievement in itself, and I’ll even congratulate you myself if you ask me to.. hint hint, comment, please, I need appreciation. Do it. Now.

Can I just say as well… I had no idea where this blog post was going from the moment I said Hello so I hope it hasn’t been too bad.

!