Sounds Coming from Our mouths

Pretty weird right? Sounds coming from our mouths and the variety and combinations of sounds we make. But by giving those sounds meaning, somehow they become much more than just made up noises, they become words and help us to create understanding.

Last night I went to Soho Theatre to watch ‘What I Learned From Johnny Bevan’. A one man piece of performance/spoken word based on the actor’s own experiences.

Spoken word artists just amaze me. Every line is so eloquently written and performed. The rhythm and pace they find in the sounds from words is beautiful and the confidence they have in what they say is admirable.

It got me thinking, wishing and ambitioning that I could articulate myself so well.

We all have a voice, we all have our opinions, some just practice theirs more than others.

Language is precious and the ability to express ourselves with it is freedom. Everyone uses and understands language in a unique way. For example, you reading this right now, what ‘freedom’ means to you won’t be the same for me and yet it’s the same sound.

So you could say then, that we’ll never really be fully understood.. apart from, maybe ourselves, but even then, I’m not entirely sure.

Listen to others and especially listen to the voices you’ve never heard or those whose voices who don’t get listened to. You don’t learn from what you already know.

Right now, do you think I’m talking crap? If so, explore that! Why do you feel that way and create your own opinion so that I can explore yours in the same way.

If our words mean understanding, then to understand ourselves, we have to use our voices.

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Identity

Me.

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Let’s start with the facts.

I am a 20 year old cis-gendered female, somewhere-on-the-spectrum heterosexual, white, university student living in London.

Easy… but then again so are so many others.

I am a 20 year old cis-gendered female, somewhere-on-the-spectrum heterosexual, white, university student living in London studying Applied Theatre, vegan, 5″6, blonde, single, sometimes masculine, sometimes feminine, knitting fanatic, babysitter, non-driver,  extroverted, non-religious, English speaking, second born, healthy human being.

So I’ve ticked a few boxes and as far as the legal documents are concerned, they’re happy with that as my identity.

But is it fact that I’m vegan if I have slipped up once or twice? Or is it fact that I’m heterosexual if I occasionally find a female attractive? How I choose to define myself is up to me. Knowing who you are and how others see as who you are two very different things and won’t always match up.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

Forgetting the facts and the box ticking, there is no doubt we are unique and different from everyone else. Our experiences, memories, friends, family, dreams, passions, likes, dislikes, rights, opportunities and choices make us who we are.

There are many layers to us all, layers others see, layers only we can see and layers which no body, not even we will discover.

It’s pretty exciting really, knowing that I will never know everything about myself. I mean, will I ever find out if actually I’m pretty darn talented at trapeze or can communicate with Koala Bears? We’ll see!

Identity is always moving and forever changing, move with it, embrace it and challenge it.

Start as you wish to go on?

A rare occurrence.. Me, sat alone, in my room on a Friday evening with no immediate tasks to do (apart from perhaps a couple of essays).
Finally! After contemplating going to my University’s bar or to my house mate’s gig (sorry Tom), I disciplined myself into giving myself a break, doing some yoga, writing in my diary and having a nice long cup of tea.

Writing a blog has for about two years been on my will-get-round-to-it-eventually list but has never quite made it to my today-is-the-day list.. until today! I think that what has worried me with starting a blog, is that I always envision blogs needing a particular theme, topic or style to them.. As much as I’d love to share recipe after recipe or photos of me in a hammocks around the world sipping from freshly picked coconuts, this is simply (or not so simply) going to be me.. being me.

Hmm.. But maybe for my sake as much as yours, I’ll give us three, hazy, broad and general themes for this blog to prepare us in a minuet way of what to expect. This is the starting point after all!

Here it goes: Explore. Learn. Create.

Explore who you are, your values, surroundings, and beyond your comfort zone.

Learn from others, about yourself, new skills, facts and about your world.

Create friendships, homes, words, food, achievements, memories, time and space.

I will definitely some how slip out of these three very generous and foggy themes but hey-ho, I can only do my best!

Putting myself out there at the risk of being judged for what I post, revealing what I get up to and opening up to potential strangers as well as to close ones isn’t all that comfortable. But risks are worth taking and if I find after a few attempts at this, that I suck at blogging, well then at least I’ve learnt that about me.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

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Me and two friends plunging into the frozen Moscow river to raise money for the homeless last year… Just a tad outside of my comfort zone.